What About the Kids?


How to Handle Kids in a Gathering

It’s time to tackle the #1 question we get from those who want to build a kingdom community through their home.

"What about the kids?"

This is one of those issues that is surprisingly easy to handle once you have the proper tools, but without them, it can stop you dead in your tracks.

In fact, one community we started literally dissolved over our confusion about this issue. 

So how can you ensure your community doesn’t suffer a similar fate?

First let’s define the problem clearly.

Those who want to enjoy a spiritual gathering in the home often want two things that exist in a state of tension.

They want their kids to be involved.

After all isn't that the point of this whole thing? We want to do spiritual rhythms in the home through the family. How can we do that when our kids can’t participate?

They want to steward the presence of the Holy Spirit.

And usually in a smaller, enclosed space. Every distraction becomes magnified. 

Imagine needing to sit in silence as a group or having someone share a deep need while there are 9 kids bouncing off the walls, being constantly chased and corralled by their parents or maybe ignored.

We know how that ends...

The value of integrating kids and the problem of being constantly distracted are both such major issues that we really need to have a well thought out plan before this becomes an issue that crushes your community.

We recommend having a written policy or plan when it comes to kids and the gathering .

It's important to send this to parents as they begin to engage in the gathering.

We ask each parent to decide for each of their children which of these three categories each child currently fits into:

  • Trained
  • In-Training
  • Pre-Trained 


Kids in this category are are able to sit through a gathering, rarely create a distraction and participate when appropriate. They are simply just a valued member of the gathering. Beautiful!


In this category, parents believes their child is capable of sitting through a gathering without distraction, but the child doesn’t yet know how or what’s expected. 

We call this child “in-training” and ask that the parent:

  • Keeps the child next to him/her throughout the gathering.
  • Make training their child their top priority even above their own participation .
  • Train one child per parent. 


The parent doesn’t believe that the child is at a good stage or has the right temperament for being trained to make it through a gathering without distracting.

When you have kids in the pre-training category you need to decide if you will have childcare on-site or whether you’ll ask parents to get their own childcare.

Follow Up

You’ll need to have the ability to follow-up with parents on how this is going for them or this can get out of control quickly.

Meeting with each family about this and making sure the plan is understood and is being followed through is critical.

Need some coaching?

We'd love to to provide coaching for your household and help you on your journey toward seeing a healthy kingdom community emerge in your home.

 Check out our coaching intensive, A House For Community for more information and to apply! 


Follow 1KH on Instagram and Facebook.